Monday, December 31, 2007

We Can Learn A Lot About Slang ...

From our friends across the ocean.

Like this bloke, Jordan James.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

TiVoidance ...

n.,1. the act of shunning all potential information outlets (radio, television, I-Phone, BlackBerry, other human beings) so as to keep the outcome of a "TiVo-ed" sporting event a mystery and be able to resume its viewing at any time.

Also applies to reality shows, sitcoms and any other "must see" programming

Big ups for this word go to Jeremy (aka "Robert") McLaughlin, who should have a lot of time to invent new words now that he is a world-class professional poker player. Congrats on the NPL Vegas Open win, Jeremy! Two for two at final tables and nine money finishes in 2007!! Ranked #405 in the world!!!!

The inspiration:

1. I fell asleep last night before the end of the New England game, but I had it Tivoed so I could watch the rest this morning. When I woke, before I watched the rest of the game, I went out for some Dunkin Donuts and The Post, but I didn't want to see the outcome in The Post before I watched the end of the game, so I looked at the paper just enough to see it was Sunday's paper, being very careful not to comprehend any of the pictures or headlines that would give away the ending.

2. The next situation had to do with the Redskins game tonight. Again, I had it Tivoing around the beginning of the 2nd quarter when I went out to get a pizza. When I came back I had to rewind to where I left, but also had to try not to see the score or what was happening.

Let's Mobilize all 14 Subscribers and Help Quixotica Win a Blue Ribbon ...

No, not that kind, though I do like me some beer.

Nominate your 2007 words of the year

The American Dialect Society’s word-of-the-year vote—the longest-running such vote anywhere—takes place in Chicago in January at its annual meeting. The academic society is now accepting word-of-the-year nominations at Word of the Year is interpreted in its broader sense as “vocabulary item"—not just words but phrases. Your nominations do not have to be brand-new, but they should be newly prominent or notable in the past year, and should have appeared frequently in the national discourse. The word-of-the-year vote is not a formal induction of words into the American language, but a whimsical affair.
Nominate accordingly (pick some of ours here) and bombard the American Dialect Society with e-mails. And make numerous references to my blog Quixotica.

Top Business Slang of 2007 ...

(As excerpted from

Actually 12, because I am writing the damn list and I had to include one of my own (No. 12). And I really, really like No. 11, even though it's not business-related.

12. Bauer it: v.t., to do something with a ruthless, business-like, Machiavellian efficiency; inspired by Jack Bauer, the fictional protagonist of the FOX tv series 24, in which he has trained and worked in various capacities as a government agent, including US Army, Delta Force, LAPD SWAT and with the Los Angeles Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU). Within the 24 storyline, Bauer is a key member of the CTU, saving both civilians and government leaders. but often at great personal expense

11.Narcissurfing: Spending a lot of time on the Internet to see how often your name appears and what others are saying about you. Its another way of saying ‘Googling yourself,’ although a narcissurfer does it on a daily basis. (from Tom Chandler at the Copywriter Undergound)

10. Spaghetti marketing: To spend marketing dollars randomly without a clear plan, much like throwing spaghetti against the wall to see if it sticks. (from Tom Chandler at the Copywriter Undergound)

9. Hypertasking: While we’re frequently forced to multitask just to keep up at work, hypertasking is a choice for those who thrive on doing more than one thing at a time. A hypertasker combines many tasks into one in order to experience more. He may exercise, play tourist and conduct business at the same time by riding his bike through the Blue Ridge Mountains while running a business meeting via his wireless headset. (from Tom Chandler at the Copywriter Undergound)

8. Phenomeniche: A marketing phenomenon that appeals to a small niche. Example: Trading Spaces, the TV series. While not a sweeping global phenomenon, it is the undisputed titan of one modest patch of pop-culture.(from Tom Chandler at the Copywriter Undergound)

7. Leveraging our assets: This probably meant something once, but today EVERY COMPANY seems to leverage its assets. Doesn't it make sense that a company would put its resources, whether it's money, location or talent, to best use in order to make a profit (from

6. Permalancer: A permanent freelancer. A person originally hired on a contract basis, but now essentially a full-timer (though without the perks and benefits of a full-time employee). (from WordSpy)

5. Dotsam: The Internet's wasteland of abandoned Web sites, Hotmail accounts, blogs, wikis, MySpace pages, etc., that their creators have ignored for months/years -- but are still accessible on the Web. (from

4. PowerPoint Ranger: seen in Doonesbury; also, PowerPoint Ranger is a derogatory term for a desk-bound bureaucrat more adept at making slides than tossing grenades." ( from Blog About Town)

3. Below Zeros: This is a marketing term, not a temperature. They’re customers who cost more to serve than they return in value. Example: A customer who ties up a salesperson for 45 minutes while trying on 14 pairs of Gucci shoes, then buys a six-pack of tube socks for $1.98, complains about the price and walks out. Also known as BZs. (from Tom Chandler at the Copywriter Undergound)

2. blamestorming: a group process where participants analyze a failed project and look for scapegoats other than themselves (from

1. bacn: Impersonal e-mail such as alerts, newsletters and automated reminders that are nearly as annoying as "spam" but which one has chosen to receive. (Time Magazine's 2007 Lists)

Sports Junkies Lingo ...

The Sports Junkies are masters of the invented word or phrase. Just talk to any of their loyal listeners and you're bound to hear a smattering of Junkies lingo.

For those of you who live outside the Washington DC metro area, The Sports Junkies are four buddies from PG County, MD, who blew up on the WJFK airwaves starting in the summer of 1996. John Auville (Cakes), Eric Bickel (EB), Jason Bishop (Lurch) and John-Paul Flaim (JP) started a cable access tv show in Bowie in 1995 and now they've taken over the coveted morning drive slot on 106.7 FM WJFK in DC .

Here's a taste of some of the Junkies' distinctive patois.

Disclaimer: These are not my words. I did not create them. Please learn more about the Sports Junkies at They're money.

An uncircumcised penis. The animal's tapered head resembles a penis with an intact foreskin.

Avril Lavigne:
[av-ril la-veen]

To complicate, often unnecessarily. From Lavigne's hit song Complicated.

“Cakes was money after having two kids, but when the third came along, his life got totally Avril Lavigned.”

Bet Book:
A documented record, kept by Cakes, of the frequent wagers between the Junkies that take place during the show.

To be disdainful of or dissatisfied with a situation.

"She was bitter I didn't stay at home and watch the kids."

To make a mistake; this is also used to reference a verbal error or factual confusion, in which case the inaccuracy may be documented in a “Botch Book.”, a known annoyance to listeners.

Very, extremely; usually used as a prefix, e.g., Butt-trifling

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Mischromatrimony ...



n., the manifestation of a poorly selected color scheme as part of the rite and ceremony of marriage;

Examples include, but are not limited to the following

  • garish, tacky color schemes (linens, tables, etc.)

  • unattractive, outmoded bridesmaid apparel (usually including taffetta, some shoulder pad action and large, poofy "butt bows")

  • Cheap and poorly-designed floral arrangements

" ... There is no law that says their dresses have to match exactly, or that their dresses have to match flowers, table linens, and ribbons on the favors. Try for a palette of complimentary colors rather than trying to present everything from the corsages to the mints in one or two precisely matching colors." -- an anonymous post on the Catholic Answers Forum

Friday, December 28, 2007

I Need A Word For The ...

Here's a situation without a word:

Resolutions or the process of making resolutions that everyone else around you (and possibly even yourself) know will fail to either take flight, or in somecases even move an inch from their original starting place. The most common examples being: stop smoking/losing weight/eating better/giving up crack ...

Submitted by Dominic Maschler (SCAD-Atlanta)
This picture is Duane Allman's New Year's Resolutions for 1969. It's something I found recently on Yahoo Images.
For your high-end guitar and drum needs, please visit Annie Allman at for more information.

I Need A Word For The ...

staredown you get when a driver passes you on the highway, either unprovoked or as a result of some sort of aggressive driving maneuver you may have made (changing lanes without a turn signal, cutting them off, giving them the finger) ... or the stare you give to someone as you pass them

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Merriam Webster Dictionary Ranks "Quixotic" No. 4 in 2007 Word Of Year Online Contest

Excerpted from Merriam-Webster website

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year 2007

Thousands of you took part in the search for Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year for 2007, and the vast majority of you chose a small word that packs a pretty big punch. The word you've selected hasn't found its way into a regular Merriam-Webster dictionary yet—but its inclusion in our online Open Dictionary, along with the top honors it's now been awarded—might just improve its chances. This year's winning word first became popular in competitive online gaming forums as part of what is known as l33t ("leet," or "elite") speak—an esoteric computer hacker language in which numbers and symbols are put together to look like letters. Although the double "o" in the word is usually represented by double zeroes, the exclamation is also known to be an acronym for "we owned the other team"—again stemming from the gaming community.

Merriam-Webster's #1 Word of the Year for 2007 based on votes from visitors to our Web site:

1. w00t (interjection)
expressing joy (it could be after a triumph, or for no reason at all); similar in use to the word "yay"
w00t! I won the contest!
Submitted by: Kat from Massachusetts on Nov. 30, 2005 23:18

Click on each of the other words in the Top Ten List for their definitions in either Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary or Merriam-Webster's Open Dictionary:

facebook conundrum

Slutter ...



n., a term of endearment for an immoral or dissolute woman, prostitute, or sexually promiscuous person

"We all went in to Adams-Morgan to watch the Redskins-Cowboys game at a sports bar, but our buddy Jake ended up bolting after the first quarter with a couple of slutters who he knew from his astronomy class."
(Courtesy of Kyle Stavella)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Football Quixotica

Professional football is filled with arcane words and phrases. Read a sports story, watch an NFL game on tv or just look at the play calls on Madden 2008 and you’re bound to find a lexicon that is as distinctive as any other professional sport.

As fans gear up for an exciting round of playoffs, I propose we christen the NFL’s second season with some fresh words to add to our football vocabulary.

The Dead Zone: Pinning your opponent inside his own five-yard line

XP Calculus: The algorithm used by NFL coaching staffs to decide whether it is an optimal to attempt a two-point conversion or go for an extra point.

Can-pan: a blatant cheerleader cleavage shot done by some randy network cameraman

War Sheet: laminated sheet used by sideline coaches to call plays during the game
Pigskin prayer circle: The impromptu phalanx of players that gather for prayer and reflection after the conclusion of each NFL game

Flag-chucking (-er): The melodramatic, emphatic toss of a red challenge flag by a head coach after a particularly questionable call

Mistrickeration: An extremely poorly designed and executed gadget play

Slipsnap: A snapped ball that inadvertently goes over the head of a punter or kicker, usually resulting in a safety, change of possession or the complete embarrassment for the punter as he tries to recover with the ball

Footernity: The unspoken bond between kickers and punters

Expatriate: a former New England assistant coach who has gone on to a head coaching gig in the college or pro ranks

Prattle tales: The idle, inane anecdotes shared by play-by-play announcers and color commentators during “dead spots’ of a particularly lopsided or boring game

The Gibbs Effect: The religious-like stature HOF Coach Joe Gibbs has among Redskins faithful

Salisbury Stakes: Frequent guarantees or ultra-assertive statements by ESPN studio analyst Sean Salisbury

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Bauer-ed (ing) It ...

Bauer(-ed)(-ing) it

v.t., to do something with ruthless, calculated, Machiavellian efficiency; inspired by Jack Bauer, the fictional protagonist of the FOX tv series 24, in which he has trained and worked in various capacities as a government agent, including US Army, Delta Force, LAPD SWAT and with the Los Angeles Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU). Within the 24 storyline, Bauer is a key member of the CTU, saving both civilians and government leaders. but often at great personal expense

"A tornado of humanity would not stop John from catching the foul ball. Nor would a toddler with a glove. Nobody would stop him. 40 or not, he was going to Bauer it ..."

Bauer Quotes:

  • Jack Bauer: If you don't tell me what I want to know, then it'll just be a question of how much you want it to hurt.

  • Jack Bauer: The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you.

  • Jack Bauer: I'm gonna need a hacksaw


  • Jack Bauer: That's the problem with people like you, George. You want results, but you never want to get your hands dirty. I'd start rolling up your sleeves.

Urgasm ...



n., 1. the physical and emotional sensation experienced after the release of urine from the body, usually after a prolonged delay between restroom visits.
2. an instance of experiencing this.
3. intense or unrestrained pee-related excitement.
4. an instance or occurrence of such excitement.

"Rick was doing fine for the first 30 minutes of our drive to Pennsylvania. Things got worse quickly, however, and we eventually had to pull off the Turnpike to go to a gas station. A dead sprint to the urinal narrowly avoided a calamitous outcome. Instead, Rick experienced one of the most profound urgasms that he could remember."


DGMW (pronounced like "dogma")
[dawg-muh, dog-]

phrase, stands for "don't get me wrong," indicative of assent and agreement

"I wasn't really looking to make out with three chicks last night, but dgmw, I'll take it."




n., an abnormally long goatee, especially popular among rock stars, bikers and all-around tough guys

Tressle Tuck ...

Tress tuck

N., the act (almost always by a female) to move long ringlets of hair into a more manageable area of the body, usually done in a "c" motion around the outer ear; done especially while dancing as an enticement to a male suitor

See also come-hither feather

Bourbon foam ...

Bourbon foam

n., the alabaster-hued compound created by the combination of the following: a) a straight whiskey distilled from a mash having 51 percent or more corn (bourbon), b) a carbonated soft drink (coke) containing an extract made from kola nuts, together with sweeteners and other flavorings and c) time.

"At halftime, the fourth-year UVA student stealthily removed his flask of Evan Williams from his sock and mixed the whiskey with his extra-large stadium Coke. Moments later, he could see that his drink had a pleasing and intoxicating layer of bourbon foam."

See also Maker's Mark, Jack Danieline and Beamsicle

Idiodyssey ...


N., an utterly foolish, inane and senseless trip

"Though it seemed like a good idea at the time, Jake's beer-addled 4:00 a.m. trip to the Waffle House for something scattered and smothered ended up as a complete idiodyssey"



n., the proprieties of conduct as established by cigarette smokers worldwide; the prescribed or accepted code of nicotine usage in matters of ceremony, including but not limited to the following activities (properly "packing" cigarettes, bumming cigarettes, borrowing lighters, smoking indoors, etc.)

"Jordan demonstrated his usual cigaretiquette when he offered a light to the fetching lady across the bar."

Monday, December 24, 2007

Linguadhesion ...


n., the unfortunate circumstance that befalls a person who attempts to places his tongue on a frozen flagpole. Usually egged on by a "triple dog dare"

"When the emergency crew arrived at the bus stop, the lead EMT quickly realized it was one of the worst cases of linguadhesion he had ever seen"

Obloof ...


adj., aloof to the point of being oblivious

"Paul's stare was so vacant and obloof. He was just not there. "



n., A nimble sapient creature, exclusive to the restaurant industry, that can effortlessly carry many plates at once without dropping a morsel of food or drink; usually done with much elan through a busy restaurant without a hint of worry


/ˈtrɪptəˌfænˌtəˌsee/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[trip-tuh-fan-tuh-see]

n., A turkey-induced dream or stupor. Common around the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, especially after consuming copious amounts of Meleagris gallopavo meat.

Fantasy Baseball Quixotica ...

By David K. Gignilliat
as originally published on MockDraftCentral.Com

As the smoke slowly clears from the explosive Mitchell Report and baseball detoxes its game during a turbulent offseason, it will soon be time for preparation for the 2008 fantasy baseball season. After all, everything begins anew each year in baseball. New players will join new teams. New rookies and sleepers will rise into the consciousness of fantasy owners. New trash will be talked and new crow will be eaten. New leagues will be joined and new draft sheets will be reviewed. New fantasy titles will be won and defended. In the spirit of novelty and rebirth, I propose some new words and phrases to be introduced into the fantasy baseball lexicon in 2008.

Subcultural Literacy: The uncanny ability for grown men to initiate intelligent insightful conversations with complete strangers in random places (in a bar, gym, toilet stall, in line at the bank, … or basically anywhere in front of television) about fantasy baseball
WHIP-ping boy: A perpetual fantasy league bottom-dweller
Stathead: The token “fantasy expert” concession the major networks now make on their pre-game and highlight telecasts. He’s usually WHIP-smart, but sitting in the corner, nearly off-studio
Simultracking: Watching a televised game and “tracking” the same game online
Pitch-22: When you opposing starting pitchers in the same game are both on your team
Fantasy flake: An inconsistent, erratic team owner
Scarcasm: Witty, childish banter on league message boards that often devolves into an unprovoked war of words. Not to be confused with smartassery, which is done in good taste and does not involve ad hominem personal attacks.
The X(BH) Factor: The entertainment value that fantasy implications add to an otherwise uninteresting game (televised or as a spectator)
The Great Debates: Obsessive, vehement discussions (usually labeled formally and dorkily as “winter meetings” or “constitutional conventions”) about league rules and by laws
Rotocrat: A dictatorial, heavy-handed league commissioner
Rotisserie Chicken: A player that is afraid to make trades, even ones that would appear to be in his favor
Analyst: The player in your league that makes it a habit to pick up each player that merits a mention by Peter Gammons and/or Tim Kurkjian on ESPN’s Baseball Tonight
Transactionist: The excessive, habitual (and mostly ineffective) adding and dropping of fantasy players
Just darn good ownership: Thinking about potential trades, up-and-coming rookies and must have free agent pickups during socially inappropriate times (church, office meetings, funerals, conversations with your wife, sex)
Glove-oil salesman: The one owner in your league that continually makes ridiculous, lopsided trade offers, … and then seriously defends them
Squeezing lemons: The practice of picking up and dropping pitchers from free agency between their starts in fantasy baseball so as to have the maximum pitchers start for one's team in a given week (Thank you, UrbanDictionary.Com)
Telestat-ting: Using your cell phone/PDA/I-Phone to track fantasy scores
Homer-roto-cism: Making unobjective, emotional acquisitions of your favorite hometown players (usually resulting in an avalanche of ridicule and hazing by your league mates). Not that there’s anything wrong with it … (see also homer-rationality)
(Jack) Cust’s Last Stand: The inopportune claim of a free agent at the end of his “hot streak”
Rotokill: Drafting an injured or (in some cases, retired) player due to inadequate fantasy research
Cobra Kai: The ultimate fantasy team name. I guess I am just partial to this dojo. Sweep the leg. Do you have a problem with that Mr. Lawrence? No, sensei
The Mitchell Report: The worst fantasy team name going into 2008. C’mon, some clever guy in every single league is going to try to come up with a performance-enhanced name next season. You can do better.

Feel free to e-mail me any of your own “fantasy baseball” invented slang. Or if you have better words or phrases to describe the ones I listed above, send ‘em in.

I can be reached by e-mail at, that is, when I am not tele-statting or simultracking.

Quixotica ...

My first post. I'm going to cry. Not really.

Quixotica is a recent writing project I have decided to start for 2008. If there is anything I enjoy unequivocally, it is the clever turn of a phrase. Nearly every day, it seems I encounter a situation, circumstance or occurrence that that needs a name, ... but lacks the appropriate (and unique) word or phrase to describe it.

Inspired by the legendary Don Quixote de la Mancha (and his sidekick Sancho Panza), this blog is devoted to the creation of new words and phrases, ... the chasing of word windmills.

quix·ot·ic (kwĭk-sŏt'ĭk) Pronunciation Key adj.

Caught up in the romance of noble deeds and the pursuit of unreachable goals; idealistic without regard to practicality.

Capricious; impulsive: "At worst his scruples must have been quixotic, not malicious"
Another Definition (from HyperDictionary.Com):

[adj] -- not sensible about practical matters; unrealistic;

"as quixotic as a restoration of medieval knighthood"

"a romantic disregard for money"

"a wild-eyed dream of a world state"

Synonyms: impractical, romantic, wild-eyed

Webster's 1913 Dictionary

\Quix*ot"ic\, a.

Like Don Quixote; romantic to extravagance; absurdly
chivalric; apt to be deluded.

"Feats of quixotic gallantry.'' --Prescott.