Tuesday, January 29, 2008

We Must Protect This House ...


I just saw an ad for FOX's post-Super Bowl programming teasing an "all new" episode of the critically acclaimed series "House." As a diehard "House" fan, I can't wait for the rest of the season.
For those of you not down with the one-hour network television drama, you're missing out. Do yourself a favor and tune in after the Super Bowl. Dr. Gregory House is one-of-a-kind, and if he were a real-live person, he would be on the Mount Rushmore of Quixotica. He'd probably be flicking Theodore Roosevelt's ear or putting rabbit ears behind George Washington's head. His uber-sarcasm, unorthodox treatment style and erratic bedside manner are all things I aspire to, ... even though I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on tv.

If you're lost, here's a primer:
Gregory House, M.D., is a maverick medical genius, who heads a team of young diagnosticians at the fictional Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey. Most episodes start with a cold open somewhere outside the hospital, showing the events leading to the onset of symptoms for that week's main patient. The episode follows the team in their attempts to diagnose and treat the patient's illness.

The team arrives at diagnoses using the
Socratic method and differential diagnosis, with House guiding the deliberations. House often discounts the information and opinions from his underlings, pointing out that their contributions have missed various relevant factors. The patient is usually misdiagnosed over the course of each episode and treated with medications appropriate to the misdiagnoses. This usually causes further complications in the patient, but in turn helps lead House and his team to the correct diagnosis by using the new symptoms.
God Bless you Wikipedia. You let me synopsize everything with all your Wiki goodness, even if it's not 100 % accurate.

Back to Quixotica ....
During the show's four season run, House has demonstrated a mastery of pop culture, music and history, ... and a little bit of medical intuition. Not only is he a Fort Knox of trivial knowledge, but his virtuoso command of slang, diction, semantics and language often leads to some very funny dialogue. In some cases, his clever one-liners serve a more important purpose in the show as the occasional "novel" House take on a situation leads a previously unthought-of differential diagnosis. In other cases, his acerbic witticisms are just an exalted form of smartassery and sarcasm.


So without further adieu, here's today's moment of sublime Quixotica ...

Housism
[hous-iz-uhm]
n., A comment, normally a one-liner, generally an offbeat response. Something Dr. Gregory House would say.

This is not an original piece of Quixotica from yours truly. I have to thank the good people at
Housisms for this neologism.
In fact, I am not going to give you any examples here. You'll have to go to their website to find out more. Or which an "all-new" episode of "House" following the Patriots' coronation on Sunday.
OK, OK, here's one from the very first episode of the series.
House: See that -- they all assume I'm a patient because of the cane.
Dr. Wilson: Then why don't you put on a white coat like the rest of us?
House: Then they think I'm a doctor.
In other news, please submit any Super Bowl-related slang to me directly at uvadavidg@gmail.com.

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