Waterworld ...

hypaquacy

[hip-ah-kwuh-see]

n., the act, often intentional, of filling up an empty premium spring water bottle (Evian, SmartWater, et al) with regular old tap water, so as to impress friends, colleagues and strangers with your superior taste and your refined palate

According to the International Bottled Water Association (yep, they exist), the 'domestic non-sparkling' (still) segment of the US bottled water market had a volume of over 8.1 billion gallons in 2009.

Wow, That's Ripe ...

rare essence
[rair es-uhns]

n., a pervasive, pungent and unrepentantly flagrant body odor

I stopped at the video store to drop off some movies. As soon as I made my way through the door, a wall of the foulest, most dank rare essence greeted me. My mouth agape and my nostrils burning, I placed the DVDs on the counter and returned to my car with the utmost haste.

also may be used to converse with another person in the presence of a strong odor without the offending party's knowledge

Guy #1: Man, that guy has some rare essence going on

Guy #2: Yeah, it's heinous.

Medically speaking, body odor is also known as bromhidrosis and gets its pungent, vinegar-like smell from the presence of propionic acid.

Did you know it's possible to 'hallucinate' smells? This type of olfactory hallucination is known as phantosmia.

Drop that bit of knowledge at your cocktail parties later this evening ...

Until 2009,

Quixotica

Just My $.02

two-center

[too sent-er]

n., a person who regularly inserts unsolicited advice, anecdotes and opinions into a conversation, especially ones in which they are not directly involved.

A two-center often interrupts a conversation's flow to pepper the dialogue with tangentially related stories and phrases like "the thing about that ...," "the truth of the matter ...," and "well, actually ..."

Person A: What's the easiest way to get to the Clarendon Metro from here?

Person B: Take a left at the intersection and it'll be four blocks on your left.

Person A: Oh, okay. Great. That's what I'll do. Thanks for your help.

Person C, The Two-Center: Well, actually you could take a bus to Glebe Road, walk to Ballston Mall and then take a cab to the metro. It would take you a few minutes less

Person A: Ummm, OK. Thanks man.

Droppin' Bombs ...

Residual methane effect (RME)

[ri-zij-oo-uhl meth-eyn i-fekt]

n., sci., the lingering odor that persists in a confined public space after one has successfully moved one's bowels; This effect can be noted quantitatively and is measured in PPUs.

This often noxious odor may persist for several minutes after the offending party (the "pooper") has left a lavatory. In many cases, the resultant odor may deter future bathroom-goers from using the facilities until after the proverbial air has cleared. Mitigating factors may include proper ventilation, courtesy flushing and one's natural poop "flavor," or odor.

In other cases, the offending party is able to leave the restroom and new users incorrectly blame a fellow stall user who may happen to be in there at the same time.

Check out this fascinating website that touts itself as "your No. 1 source for your No. 2 business" to keep up with the fast-moving world of poop.

I can't believe I just wrote that sentence.

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry ... And Drunk

alcholeric

[al-kuh-ler-ik]

n., a person who becomes extremely irritable, easily angered, belligerent or combative when under the influence of alcohol

Alcholeric is a portmanteau, blending the words "alcohol" and "choleric"

Alcohol reduces inhibitions and the more you drink, the more loose you get. If a person is naturally angry and aggressive before drinking, alcohol will make him more apt to act out and get mean when he is drinking.

Many refer to the inhibition-reducing effects of alcohol as "liquid courage," a surge of temporary eneregy that makes people feel like it's okay to do things they normally wouldn't--they think it's okay because they were drunk, or they "couldn't help themselves".

Check out these great moments in "alcholeric history," thanks to YouTube

Kindercare ...

kindercare

[kin-der-kair]
n., an emotional response or state of mind relating to the objective (and perfectly normal, I might add) non-sexual appreciation of a younger person who may be precociously attractive; also reflects a belief that one can "tell" if an "admired" young person will grow up to become an exceedingly attractive or handsome adult.

I imagine this word could also describe someone like my mom going ga-ga over some young, male heartthrob on American Idol. Does she want to act on her cute little crush on Chris Daughtry? Of course not. Never in a million years. But the appreciation exists nonetheless, and it should have its own word for it.

I think men and women -- young and old -- know when they see someone who will likely turn out to be good-looking/knockout/ahunk/etc. when they mature. The same could probably said for the opposite feeling, ... a sense that a young person is precociously unattractive ... like a baby or toddler that you can tell from an early age has "ugly" potential

Oh yeah, and the word "kindercare" has nothing to do with the wholesome "preschool" corporation that shares the same name.

Biscuits and Gravy ...

Today's moment of sublime quixotica was submitted by a Mr. John Krauss. Mr. Krauss hails from historic Cheverly, MD and grew up on the mean streets of Prince George's County. In his spare time, John enjoys long walks on the beach, gangster rap, writing haikus about Star Trek and keeping it real.

He has been known to wear the occasional cloak, uses the phrase "BTW" religiously in everyday human-to-human conversation and claims some distant relation to bluegrass vixen (and hottie) Allison Krauss. An active gamer, John (or "Icey J" as his friends call him) maintains a challenging second life on Second Life, where he goes by the name of Grease Coakes.

Check him out at grease711@yahoo.com , he's sui generis (that's a real word actually)

biscuits and gravy

[bĭs'kĭtz and grey-vee]

n., an exclamation indicative of a state of quiet contentment, usually as a result of some fortuitous and unexpected turn of events; usually preceded in everyday speech by the "it's all ..." sentence fragment; for the purpose of brevity during conversation, the "it's all" component can also be eliminated while still retaining the same meaning

Synonyms include "it's all good," "all fruits ripe," and "sweet"

I guess there's just something special about the harmony that exists between a small cake of shortened bread leavened with baking powder or soda and the fat and juices that drip from cooking meat, often thickened, seasoned, flavored, etc., and used as a sauce

"But you were supposed to pick me up an hour ago at the Farragut West Metro. At first, I was kinda mad, but then I started talking to this chick who likes to play World of Warcraft. We exchanged screen names and I'm going to call her next week, ... so it's all biscuits and gravy."

Did You Know?:The phrase "it's all good" has a downright fascinating history, traced here with vim and verve by author Rebecca Mead in a 2001 magazine article. And be sure to check out Rebecca's other original work, especially her razor-sharp take on the business of weddings in One Perfect Day, available at Amazon.com. The New York Times thinks she's the cat's meow. Or is it the ant's pants


Excerpted from RebeccaMead.Com


... This is, of course, arguable, but the adoption of "It's all good" does confirm that phrase's omnipresence in the contemporary lexicon. The expression got a big push into the mainstream this spring on "Survivor: The Australian Outback," when it was used by Alicia Calaway, the buff personal trainer, who informed twenty-eight and a half million Americans that, even though she had not won a million dollars, her experience had indeed been all good. And when Puffy Combs was asked by "Entertainment Tonight" about his painful breakup with Jennifer Lopez earlier this year, he resorted to the "It's all good" formula to explain how he would always have a place in his heart for J. Lo.


According to Weinstock, the meaning of "It's all good" is straightforward. "It means 'no worries,' " he said. "If Disney were to use it, they would say 'Hakuna Matata.' " Actually, "It's all good" is often more nuanced. The original popularizers of the expression were rap performers, including Hammer, who in 1994 released a song entitled "It's All Good." A year later, Tupac Shakur employed the phrase in his hit "California Love," on which Dr. Dre announced, "Diamonds shinin' lookin' like I robbed Liberace / It's all good from Diego to tha Bay." In such contexts, "It's all good" serves as a statement of defiance rather than complacency; things are clearly not all good, for example, if you happen to be Liberace.


The phrase continues to be reflexively used in the rap world, and it has now been adopted ironically by upper-middle-class white people, in whose parlance "It's all good" is usually a way of preëmptively closing a conversation--a discussion of the final episode of "The Sopranos," for example--and segueing to the next topic: where to find the best sushi in the East Village.


But the most widespread use of "It's all good" seems to be among people who have recently discovered yoga and meditation. For this demographic, "It's all good" has become a kind of New Age, neo-Buddhist mantra, one with a peculiarly American flavor of optimism. (As Mark Epstein, the author of "Going On Being: Buddhism and the Way of Change," points out, a truly Buddhist view would be "It's all suffering.") It means that every reversal--breaking up with your boyfriend, getting downsized from your dot-com--is also an opportunity for personal growth. Admittedly, this usage has greater appeal if you are a laid-off, newly single dot-commer than it might if you were, say, an Afghani refugee or a resident of southern Sudan.


Stephen Cope, the author of "Yoga and the Quest for the True Self," explained by telephone last week that he often hears the phrase in the halls of the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in Lenox, Massachusetts, where he is the senior scholar-in-residence. Cope said that although he believes Americans often need a corrective to an embedded Puritan world view--which might be characterized as "It's all bad, especially you"--the phrase does, nonetheless, raise his hackles.


"There is a way in which that mantra can lead to a fatalistic view of life, and can leave out the incredible power of choice," he said. The first time Cope heard the expression was shortly after he arrived at Kripalu, twelve years ago.


"My car had broken down in the middle of a nor'easter, and I ended up having to walk home through the storm and got pneumonia," he said. "I remember someone proposed to me the notion that this was all good, and I definitely had a reaction to it: it is not good being sick, and it would have been good if I had had a cell phone. The only thing that is definitely all good all the time is anything that comes in a blue box from Tiffany."

More Random Quixotica ...

In my neverending quest to reach the "end" of this Internet, I've uncovered more quixotica for your reading pleasure.

• I especially enjoy the story about Steven Seagal and the bubble quotes at the bottom of the page
• The quixotic t-shirt is even on sale
• Let us pray
• Not so good for Quixotic Ministries
• Quixotic The Band
• Quixotic The Font
• A quixotica google search. Who's that at #3 with a bullet?
• A sexy little trip-pop chanteuse
• A Don Quixote movie from Pixar?
• Or a live-action remake with Johnny Depp

Top Business Slang of 2007 ...

(As excerpted from http://bloggybiz.com)

Actually 12, because I am writing the damn list and I had to include one of my own (No. 12). And I really, really like No. 11, even though it's not business-related.

12. Bauer it: v.t., to do something with a ruthless, business-like, Machiavellian efficiency; inspired by Jack Bauer, the fictional protagonist of the FOX tv series 24, in which he has trained and worked in various capacities as a government agent, including US Army, Delta Force, LAPD SWAT and with the Los Angeles Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU). Within the 24 storyline, Bauer is a key member of the CTU, saving both civilians and government leaders. but often at great personal expense

11.Narcissurfing: Spending a lot of time on the Internet to see how often your name appears and what others are saying about you. Its another way of saying ‘Googling yourself,’ although a narcissurfer does it on a daily basis. (from Tom Chandler at the Copywriter Undergound)

10. Spaghetti marketing: To spend marketing dollars randomly without a clear plan, much like throwing spaghetti against the wall to see if it sticks. (from Tom Chandler at the Copywriter Undergound)

9. Hypertasking: While we’re frequently forced to multitask just to keep up at work, hypertasking is a choice for those who thrive on doing more than one thing at a time. A hypertasker combines many tasks into one in order to experience more. He may exercise, play tourist and conduct business at the same time by riding his bike through the Blue Ridge Mountains while running a business meeting via his wireless headset. (from Tom Chandler at the Copywriter Undergound)

8. Phenomeniche: A marketing phenomenon that appeals to a small niche. Example: Trading Spaces, the TV series. While not a sweeping global phenomenon, it is the undisputed titan of one modest patch of pop-culture.(from Tom Chandler at the Copywriter Undergound)

7. Leveraging our assets: This probably meant something once, but today EVERY COMPANY seems to leverage its assets. Doesn't it make sense that a company would put its resources, whether it's money, location or talent, to best use in order to make a profit (from buzzwhack.com)

6. Permalancer: A permanent freelancer. A person originally hired on a contract basis, but now essentially a full-timer (though without the perks and benefits of a full-time employee). (from WordSpy)

5. Dotsam: The Internet's wasteland of abandoned Web sites, Hotmail accounts, blogs, wikis, MySpace pages, etc., that their creators have ignored for months/years -- but are still accessible on the Web. (from buzzwhack.com)

4. PowerPoint Ranger: seen in Doonesbury; also, PowerPoint Ranger is a derogatory term for a desk-bound bureaucrat more adept at making slides than tossing grenades." ( from Blog About Town)

3. Below Zeros: This is a marketing term, not a temperature. They’re customers who cost more to serve than they return in value. Example: A customer who ties up a salesperson for 45 minutes while trying on 14 pairs of Gucci shoes, then buys a six-pack of tube socks for $1.98, complains about the price and walks out. Also known as BZs. (from Tom Chandler at the Copywriter Undergound)

2. blamestorming: a group process where participants analyze a failed project and look for scapegoats other than themselves (from Buzzwhack.com)

1. bacn: Impersonal e-mail such as alerts, newsletters and automated reminders that are nearly as annoying as "spam" but which one has chosen to receive. (Time Magazine's 2007 Lists)